Bye 2022, Hello 2023…

2023 is a blank chapter in the story that is you…

What are you going to write about?

First of all congratulations on all you achieved in 2022. We too often focus on the negative, but let's take a moment to celebrate all you achieved in 2022. Let's acknowledge all those things you did that no one noticed or thanked you for. Those endless piles of washing, dishes, being the kid's taxi, helping out others, being there for someone, all those 'little things' that felt insignificant at the time, give yourself a pat on the back. I know sometimes it feels like you're constantly chasing your tail and getting nowhere, but that's just he beauty if adulting, isn't it? 

So, 2023 has arrived - how are you feeling about it? Excited, overwhelmed, unsure? To be honest I feel a strong combination of all of these things. A new year often brings about feelings of possibility, but only if you are willing to recognise these possibilities and be brave enough to take them. 

Many of us will set out with a list as long as our arms of intentions to bring into the new year, but how many of those will still be with us at year-end? Research suggests the stats are low. Think back on your own prior years' resolutions, how many of those are still working out for you? 

I believe there are a few reasons that we predominantly suck at keeping our resolutions alive... 

1. We make BIG fluffy statements, like 'I want to lose weight', or 'I want to get fit'. These broad sweeping statements could mean 100 different things to 100 different people. What exactly does 'I want to lose weight' translate to for you? Is it losing 5kgs over the year and keeping it off for good through better habits, or is it starving yourself in January to only go backwards come Feb? Instead of these grand statements, try thinking a bit more specifically about what it is you want. 

2. When you know EXACTLY what you want, start by breaking your big goal down into smaller actionable tasks. The image below is from a great article (Höchli B, Brügger A and Messner C, 2018) that talks about the importance of superordinate and subordinate goals. What I wanted to highlight about this is that many of us focus on the intermediate goals - getting enough sleep, being in good physical shape, etc., but we often fail to break down those into actionable pieces. It's all well and good to say you want to be fit, but unless you actually do anything about it - it means NOTHING. It sounds almost stupid writing this, but if nothing changes, then nothing will change. Really hone in on that for a minute and think about it. Let's say you want to 'get fit'. What have you done in the past? Obviously whatever it was, didn't work out for you if it is on your list of things to do this year, did it? So what are you going to do this year or this time that is actually different? What is something you can do sustainably over the long term? THINK about this. 

3. If you want to change anything in your life, you will change it in the boring day-to-day stuff you do, not through some one-off epiphany. Want to get 'in shape'? No matter how many one-off workouts you do at the start of each week or month, they won't change you unless you do something every day. The real secret to success - is consistency. 

4. And finally let's talk about our old friend, motivation... She turns up at the most random times, but often not when you feel like you really need her to be there. Like when your 5 a.m. alarm goes off on Monday morning ready to wake you for your workout before work. Don't count on her then, she left last night without a trace. Too many of us rely on 'feeling motivated' to do anything. Well sorry to say, you need to let that ship sail. Motivation won't be there when you need it. Instead, try leaning into self-discipline. What is that? It's doing the things you know will make you a better person in time despite all the stuff in your way right now. Going to the gym instead of sleeping in. Cooking dinner instead of getting takeout for the second time this week. Going to bed at 8 p.m. instead of sitting on your phone mindlessly scrolling for an hour. THESE are acts of self-discipline. Don't get me wrong, it is hard. We live in a world that feeds our dopamine systems with instant gratification. Saying no now, for a better life in time isn't easy, but in time you begin to reap what you sow and then you can look back with utter appreciation for your hard work. 

Are you setting any New Years’ Resolutions this year?

What would the January 2022 version of you say to yourself today - if they could see you right now?